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We agreed that for the sake of my relationship with Chris that I would pull back. The friendship could no longer be so sexually charged and we couldn’t fantasise about what we would do with each other. I loved him dearly as a friend and I didn’t want to lose him completely, so although it was difficult (total understatement. I’ve never taken drugs, but I imagine it’s a lot like coming off of heroin cold turkey) I worked hard at maintaining the new boundaries we had to set. I focused on working on things with Chris. It wasn’t a bad relationship. In many ways it was better than most. We had the same views on most things, enjoying doing the same sort of stuff, the sex in the most part was amazing, but there was just something missing. I’m sure over time relationships change and the excitement dies down, but that didn’t mean you had to give up on things. We both had our faults and with a bit of compromise on both parts I’m sure we could be happy together. But I still craved Luke. . But, why did it matter if she was pretty? Would an ugly girl have made me feel any better? Probably not. I felt almost sick.I sat lost in my thoughts for quite a while. The silence was deafening. All I could think about was I didn’t want to lose my husband. I was terrified of what almost happened. He considered cheating on me! Apparently, he needed more in our marriage than he was getting from me and I may regret it, but I needed to explore this with him.“Okay,” I forced my lips to speak. “We’ll go.”Needless to say, Robert’s mouth dropped to the floor in utter confusion and disbelief. I almost had to stifle a laugh at him trying to make sense of what I had said. What a dumb time to even think about laughing!I suppressed every hurt feeling bubbling up inside me and nonchalantly said, “I don’t think I have anything for strip poker. Will have to do a little shopping tomorrow.”I gave his shocked face a light kiss and continued, “I’ll read more tomorrow, but for now we better get some.
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