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Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."Guess where the fuck I am now...EXCUSESThese are actual excuse notes from parents (including spelling): God bless the American education system!My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.Please execute him.Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had. Either that or an air mattress for the floor. This desk is hard on my back."Rob was saying, "I'll get something" as Diane quietly closed the door and hurried from the office.Diane wasn't surprised at what she had discovered. She had hoped it would never happen, but deep down inside she had been expecting it. She thought back to the barbecue she and Rob had attended nine years ago. He had been working for McIlhenny's at the time and old man McIlhenny had thrown a huge barbecue and pool party for his customers, suppliers and employees. Diane loved to swim so she had spent a lot of time in and around the pool. Rob, on the other hand, had no use for water except for showering and drinking. He spent most of his time drinking beer and socializing.Three hours into the party she had gone into the house to use the bathroom. She had just come out of the bathroom when she heard, "Oh Rob honey" and some giggles from a room just across the hall. There may have been some other Rob's at the party,.
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