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He took a deep breath. He took several more not quite so deep.I looked him in the eye.He nodded."I knew there was a good possibility you would be very angry," he said.He fidgeted. He raised his eyebrows. He shrugged. He gestured with his hands.I had to fight to keep a smile from my face. He didn't want to answer. This was how he looked when he thought the answer to a question would make him look too good.I had no idea what he was going to say, but I knew I was going to like it. If he ever said it."So why did you do it?" I had nothing to lose. If you changed your mind it was the right thing to do."He fidgeted some more."And?" Well, even if it turned out to be what broke us up," he dragged it out like he still had the hope he would never have to finish the thought, "at least I'd be sure you were safe. I might not have you, but you'd be safe."I'd been thinking about this all day; what I wanted to hear; what I wanted to say. I gave him a brief smile."I'm sorry, Jeff. I was completely. I gave him an icy stare."Do you understand?" I asked. "Do you want to become my male/wife?" Yes," he softly said."Yes, what?" I asked with clenched teeth. "Say it!" Yes, I want to become your male/wife," the broken man sobbed.Then I drew him to my bosom and gave him a warm, reassuring hug. I smiled to myself as my tearful hubby collapsed in my arms and whimpered and wept and promised to be good. It satisfied a deep yearning in me -- a maternal yearning. You see, Billy can't give me children. I knew that when I married him. Still I have maternal instincts. I long to mother and love someone who really needs me -- someone who's helpless and dependent, who needs to be disciplined and told what to do, who worships and adores me, who desperately wants to please me, and who will do anything for maternal affection and approval. So if Billy can't give me a child to discipline and love-- if he can't satisfy my maternal needs as a man -- he'll do so as a little boy. And I'll be his loving,.
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