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A scene happens on a set. It’s rigid. It happens over time in one place, not bouncing willy-nilly from scene to scene, each one needing to be described.”“Then turn No Contest into a play. Use Jonny’s treatment as a guideline, but one that you can go beyond if you need to. Make each scene as long as you want.”“And you’ll turn it into a workable script for Jonny. But when I miss something essential?”“I’ll tell you what’s missing and you can fix it. But it won’t be as hard, will it? Just working on this and that?”“No. Okay.”“Great.”“But what are you going to do?”“Work on what you write?”“Not until I’m done. I wouldn’t be any more comfortable with you working on something I haven’t finished. At least the first draft. It’s not something I have ever let happen since I was a kid, and I hated it then enough to keep it from ever happening again.”“What about collaborating?”“Your lack of confidence killed it, Cynthia. I would have had you write the script with my feedback. But instead, you’ll. .." she says, "is... is that happy crying?" Yes, dummy!" I reply, surprised and teary, "You think I wanted the world to end?!" I don't know," she says, so softly, looking into my eyes with such sadness. "Didn't you?"I just stare at her. Of course I didn't! And yet... this life, this world... it has been my Hell for so long. Somewhere deep inside, maybe I did want it all to just end. I've tried to hide my pain from my friends, but they know. They've always known. And Dawn most of all. She thought I didn't want her. And all along she was the only thing I did want."Dawn..." I whisper, "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry..." I rise and take this amazing creature into my arms. She needs so much love. And somehow, after everything that's happened, I still have so much love to give.I denied it from the very start. Wouldn't let myself think it. Eventually I couldn't deny it, and I blamed myself. Then I blamed the monks, for making me feel this way. And then, when the end came, and Glory took my Dawn.
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