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Very trueQuestion: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. Sometime 15%Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?Answer: Tied shoes.Question: Why do retirees count pennies?Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?Answer: NUTS!Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?Answer: Normal.Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole. He knew what that meant! Heneeded to go to the potty for 'number twos' soon - big-time! The troublewas; there was no potty. Just a nappy; thick, fluffy, right therebetween his legs - keeping them apart so his hairless thighs weresplayed helplessly wide. It was crisp, white and secure; wet, yes - butready to safely receive a messy load when required.The shavings of chocolate Ex-lax and syrup of figs that Nanna hadsecretly, without even telling Jane, served in his portion of chocolatepudding, had passed totally undetected at lunch. But it was now silentlydoing it's work on his colon. He eventually summoned up the effort fromsomewhere to repeat himself. "Exthcuthe me, Thir; Mummy thaid I muthtthay I'm thowwy, becauthe I wath alwayth peeking up Aunty Sheila'ththkirth, like I wath jutht now. I'm tho thowwy, I won't do it again."At that moment Jones decided to pull in for a pit-stop. Simon ignoredDavid completely and concentrated on the TV. David shuffled his feet indiscomfort. He didn't.
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