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“Fucking awful!” I blurted out. I was close to tears. “Just drive!” “I hear they put you on that secretarial course honey. That will be better I guess in the long run for you.” She continued. “I bought you some more secretarial type clothes for the course which starts on Monday I believe.” “Your so thoughtful.” I said with a fake grin. We drove back in silence to the house. “By the way honey I’m having a few friends over tomorrow, Saturday night, for a little dinner party. You will be there too.” She said. “No way!” I said aggressively. “Yes you will honey, or else!” she laughed. “ I bought you a lovely dress for the occasion.” Yet another nightmare ahead I thought. The Saturday morning she announced that she had also booked us both into the local beauty salon. My heart dropped again. “You need your hair styling, those eyebrows thinning and your nails doing. They will also pierce your ears honey.” Good grief I thought. I went upstairs and changed into an ivory lace bra. My breast. Catching her eye, he said, "Hi!" Hi yoself! Whatchoo doin' here?" Drinking this beer. What about you?" Nuthin." Want a beer?"She just shrugged. Ralph waved the bartender over with a dollar. "A beer for the lady, please."The bartender glanced at her, and she said, "Gimme a Dos Equis."Ralph leaned closer to her and whispered, "You have good taste in beer!"She just shrugged again. Ralph started to wonder if he should just make a quick escape before he got into trouble; but he cautiously glanced around and saw that still nobody was paying him, or the girl, any attention.He looked back at her and she was reading his shirt. "Wha's tha'?" she asked."What's what?" asked Ralph."Wha's a coo'ed beer pissing contest?" Do you really want to know?" Yeah! I wan' know!"He leaned closer to her again. "It's where a bunch of couples, guys and girls, compete to see who can piss the most beer into a pitcher. Each guy gets tied down on his back onto a long narrow padded plank and they stick a plastic pipe.
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