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” The president sat down and smiled as Kelly returned to her seat.Miss Handy returned to the microphone. She looked towards Kelly and said, “Kelly Jackson, you are a troublemaker. We had a faculty meeting about you last week. There were some who wished to award you a diploma. However, it was pointed out that you flunked biology ... twice. But then we received a letter from the Army’s Surgeon General saying you had performed two very delicate battlefield operations flawlessly. So we waived the biology requirement.“It was then pointed out that your history was weak. However, certain people — including the President of the United States — insisted that you have been making it ... on a scale comparable to Alexander the Great and Napoleon. So we waived that requirement, too.“However, our primary mission here is to teach German to English-speaking women. Kelly, your German was atrocious. However, the Chancellor of Germany threatened officially to change the language to conform to the way. He signed where I showed him and wrote me a check for the full amount, stood and we shook hands. The girl had not said a word and looked utterly blank."She stoned?" I asked him.He chuckled, "Tranquilized. Only way to civilize her." I understand." He was determined to make my life easier."Good luck," he said as he left.I sat, got out a chocolate bar and handed it to her. She blinked at me, unwrapped it and ate it in three bites. "Do you usually skip breakfast?"She nodded, chewed and swallowed a double dose of Ecstasy."What do you weigh?"She wrinkled up her nose and said, "'Bout 130." Bit plump, eh? How tall?" Five-ten?" Inseam?" Thirty-five." Who deflowered you?"She blinked and licked her lips. "Ted, my brother, right after my birthday. Nasty and under-sized too. Lasted two minutes maybe. Squirted all over the place."I waited, pen poised."All three," she said and a tear slid down her cheek. "All three holes, the bastard. It really hurt even though he was only maybe five inches." Bra.
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