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I definitely don't trust myself going to someone else house either, I watch wayyyy too much SVU and Criminal Minds for that. Ugh fuck it, just one more time.I opened up the app and jokingly rearranged my settings to also include women in the search. I don't know what possessed me but it seemed like a good idea. There I was, swiping left and right as alert after alert came back with matches followed by instantaneous messages asking to hook up. I ignored them and continued swiping, trying to achieve as many options as I possibly could.Too short... too skinny... too pale... whew he's fine... Probably won't want anything to do with my ugly ass, yea he's too fine, next... Oh...My thumb hovered over the avatar of a gorgeous woman posing at a bar in a nightclub. I swiped through her profile and was captivated, she was a fucking goddess. I could feel my breathing shallow as I gawked at her ridiculously perfect body, shocked at how much I wanted to have my way with her."How much rum is in. “One cannot shoot Peasants.”“In the lord’s name why not?” Mrs Bennet exclaimed, “If one might not shoot them how is discipline to be maintained?”“Miss Eliza, I have done you a dis-service,” Mr D’arcy exclaimed, “I had thought you the most idiotic and completely deluded woman I had ever met but I own you are indeed quite sane compared to your mother.”“How are we to impose discipline Mr D’arcy if we cannot shoot the miscreants?” Mrs Bennet demanded. “One cannot carry a rack around with one and whipping is no substitute.”“Dear lord mother he wants to shoot a few birds,” Miss Eliza sighed, “And yet you suggest he shoots our servants and takes your daughters to his bed.”“To be fair she only suggested I take you to bed Miss Eliza,” Mr D’arcy argued.“And shall you?” Eliza enquired.“Alas no, the thought of my progeny having your countenance and wit entirely repulses me,” Mr D’arcy replied.Mrs Bennet recoiled at the sentiment, “So have them sent to the orphanage as Mr Bennet and I should have.
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