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The numbness I had felt all day gaveway and I found myself sitting on the floor sobbing. You had been mywhole life for so long. I no longer felt like I had a soul of my own; Iwas just an adjunct to you. Now that you were gone what was left of mylife made no sense. It was as if I had died instead: my head was fullof you, with no room left for me.Without thought I took my stale clothes off and left them in a loosepile on the floor. Using the cold water I had used to wash your body Ibathed myself, a half-conscious attempt to form a last bond with you.Shivering, I dried myself and then stood naked before what had been yourmirror. Not the best canvas, I thought, but it would do. I kneltbefore your box of clothes and selected those that had been yourfavourite: a red bustier with subtle glitter, a loose red and yellowpatterned gypsy skirt and your black leather boots. They did not fitwell. I am not a big man, but even the loose skirt of yours was tighton me. The boots pinched so. I left work at 11:30 AM to make sure I would be at the salon at noonsharp.I did not want to be late and upset Sara in anyway.I told the young receptionist at the salon that my name was Allen, andthat I had a 12:00 appointment.She looked confused and said the only noon appointment for noon today wasfor 'Ally' and it was a 'special' services appointment!Margo, the manager then came over.Margo, like Sara, was a small, petite, yet strong.She had spiked red hair and black eyes.I would not want to cross her path. Yikes!Margo quickly took control of the situation and informed everyone in thesalon that the appointment was in fact for me, and that I will start witha 'facial.'The young receptionist teasingly asked if the facial was a male one for'Allen,' or a feminine one for 'Ally.'Margo announced in a rather loud voice again, that the facial would be afeminine one.Several of the other women clients looked at me as I sat down in thechair. One looked at me in disgust, one smiled, and the other,.
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