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B: calling me a lyre?!Bloke goes to a costume party, stark naked, painted green with his girlfriend on his back. Someone asks ‘what are you supposed to be?’, he replies ‘I’m a tortoise’. ‘What about her?’, he replies... ‘that’s Michelle’I told my doctor that when I travel from country to country I have the urge to get drunk. She told me I’m a borderline alcoholic.A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, “Your fly is open.”He zipped up and finished his shopping.At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the girl was that told him about his “barracks door.”He was planning to have a little fun with her, so when he reached the counter he said, “When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?”The girl thought for a. Breathing alone was a trial the little air in the bag was being recycled, and her adrenaline lifting her heart rate had her ears thumping to every beat like a trip hammer. Her bemused husband offered the whip to Dan, who declined it saying he “wanted to watch and have his own wife this time,” and that he “will trust you now not to get carried away!” it was the grand gesture and moving ‘her’ table he had his wife kneel over it and kneeling himself , he mounted her rapidly, doggy fashion so they could both see the action. Dave lifted the whip once more, his past inhibitions about hurting his wife, forgotten, the leather whistled through the air and with a soft ‘splat’ lay across the pale backside, causing Gaye to jerk sharply in her bindings and grunt a pained grunt. The bag inflated, and as it deflated with the intake of her next laboured breath the second lash struck. A long cry of “oh,” emitted from the bound woman, spurring Dan on with his conquest of his own wife, the moment was.
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